There was once a lonely raven named Purpur, who lived to rummage through the discards of trash. It was a lonely life and though he spent it alone, he allowed himself these wonderful flights of fancy.
Sometimes he envisioned himself as a diamond thief, hovering from the ceiling in a museum, dangling from a cable, snatching a crowned jewel right from it’s well lit display – dashing away just as the alarms set off.
Other times, he saw himself riding atop an enormous white cat, a conquering hero with hundreds of concubines waiting to please him in the chambers where only the soft cries of satisfaction were allowed. But on this night, he found in the rubbish, a friend. Some child had apparently tossed Dolly on to the street, where she lay there half naked. Collecting her in his beak, he flew her to a safe place – told her to rest easy, and that he would be back in a few moments.
While Dolly reclined on his feather bed, Purpur went into the Town of his Imagination and there he found the most splendid attire, The Audacious Purple Suit. With top hat settled on his raven head, he flew back to Dolly, slipped on his Audacious Purple Suit, spritzed himself with Eau de Monsieur – once, twice for good luck, three times for rapscallion adventures – and took his position on the emerald green velvet love seat.
A love seat meant love and his heart beat within his chest at the sight of his bare chested beauty. With a wing outstretched, he lifted her, balanced her and placed her upon his lap. She smelled like honey. So sweet she was, so fleshy and pale, unlike his own sleek, black feathered countenance – ah! He could not wait to play with his beloved Dolly. He hummed a little tune as he tickled her with his longest feathers…
Sometimes I sift through the lives of men
Imagine myself as one of them
Their food’s so good, delicious berries
The pits divine, the wild black cherries
Their women jiggle for my eyes
Their bottoms wiggle – oh, their thighs!
But oh, I’d surrender a thousand rubies
to nuzzle my beak in those porcelain boobies!
And he did.